However, there is one component of the Web and its technological counterpart, the Internet that is relatively easy to figure out: E-mail. E-mail is amazing. I can't tell you how much I enjoy getting messages with subject headings like, "I FOUND YOU!" in all caps. Suddenly, I'm chatting with someone from my past that I never thought I would. That is special and a bit wondrous.

But sometimes, E-mail can get tedious. I get about 50 messages a day mostly because I maintain a number of websites on a variety of topics-from ethics to visual communication. E-mail messages are so easy to send that people are sometimes less than precise with their questions or expect me to do their research for them. Here are some gems I've collected over the years that have tested my patience:

Hi! My name is Cathy and I'm in sort of a "spot". I need to write a paper on "loyal agent" and can't seem to find too much information about it. I'm not even really sure what it is!! Is there any way you could point in the right direction so I can at least find out what it is? I would really appreciate any help you could give me.

And I replied:

Hi Cathy. A loyal agent is someone who only takes 3 percent of the money due to you. Where can you find one? Not on this planet!

Cheers,

(I always end these messages with the friendly, if not totally sincere, "Cheers.")

In 1991 I wrote a historical article about the portraits of Christopher Columbus--there weren't any painted during his lifetime. I put it on my website and forgot about it, until a few days before Columbus Day I get students frantically wanting information about him for a school paper. This one is my favorite:

Please. I am in a hurry. I am writing a report about Christopher Columbus. Can you give me some really basic information about him?

And I wrote back saying:

Sure. Let's see...he was born, he lived, and he died. That's about as basic as I can get.

Cheers,

I maintain a sports ethics site. Maybe that's how this coach found me:

I need help finding a sports program that teaches kids how to jump. A legit program that will help kids learn to jump higher for track and basketball.

And I wrote:

Tack a hundred dollar bill to the ceiling, say you'll give it to the first person that reaches it, and watch the fun ensue.

Cheers,

Here's one more:

Hello. My name is Frank. I'm hoping you can give me a bit of information. How do I go about looking for unclaimed money? I have no clue where to start. Can you help me find money?

How do these people find me? Oh well, here was my reply:

Hi Frank. Besides the usual places---soft drink and telephone coin returns, laundromat washers, and the ground under fast amusement park rides--you might try that little pocket inside the right-hand pocket in many pairs of pants. I sometimes surprise myself and discover a lost quarter in there.

Cheers,

My responses to their queries might seem a bit cynical but I'm really simply trying to get these E-mail writers to think more precisely. But more importantly, these quickly written and instantaneous messages are unlike any previous form of communication (I simply don't receive unsolicited phone calls or regular mail asking for my help on a variety of topics.) And that makes E-mail special and a bit wondrous.

So please, don't be afraid to E-mail me. My address is lester@fullerton.edu. Send me your comments and questions and watch the fun ensue.

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This is Paul Lester of the Practical Ethics Center at the University of Montana

writings